Put Mercy Before Judgment
Tuesday, September 12, 2023
Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment! James 2:12, 13, NIV
Addictions of any kind can disrupt the family and destroy relationships, but one of the toughest to deal with is the sexual addiction of a spouse. Don's story was one of innocently picking up a pornographic magazine, followed by adult movies, sexual fantasies, and finally adultery. Then overcome with guilt, he repented, confessed to his wife, and was willing to do whatever was necessary for recovery.
What would you do if you were his wife?
Here's what Sherry says: "I was able to see that Don's sin was not really against me, but against God. I recalled that David in the Bible acknowledged that his sins of murder were not really so much against people as against God [Ps. 51:4]. Once I realized that, the Lord was able to speak to me from Ephesians 4:32 'Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you' [Message].
"I knew that Scripture did not require me to remain in my marriage. Therefore, if I stayed with Don, it was because I wanted to, not because anything compelled me to. If I remained with him, I could pursue a high standard—the law of love.
"The thing that hurt me the most was the pain of the broken trust of a Christian marriage. It led me to become insecure, defensive, and suspicious.
"But God gently and persistently dealt with me. Exposing my own faults and shortcomings, He kept me humble and dependent on Him. Although I felt utterly crushed and broken, He promised that if I would humble myself under His mighty hand, in time He would lift me up.
"The Lord also began to build in me an identity rooted in my relationship with Him, not in any human relationship. That security gave me the strength and patience to wait on God to work in Don's life. Although Don had previously put success and recognition before our marriage and children, when the Lord changed his heart I discovered a vibrant love in him that was beyond price."
When someone hurts you, remember to put mercy before judgment and be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving.
Addictions of any kind can disrupt the family and destroy relationships, but one of the toughest to deal with is the sexual addiction of a spouse. Don's story was one of innocently picking up a pornographic magazine, followed by adult movies, sexual fantasies, and finally adultery. Then overcome with guilt, he repented, confessed to his wife, and was willing to do whatever was necessary for recovery.
What would you do if you were his wife?
Here's what Sherry says: "I was able to see that Don's sin was not really against me, but against God. I recalled that David in the Bible acknowledged that his sins of murder were not really so much against people as against God [Ps. 51:4]. Once I realized that, the Lord was able to speak to me from Ephesians 4:32 'Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you' [Message].
"I knew that Scripture did not require me to remain in my marriage. Therefore, if I stayed with Don, it was because I wanted to, not because anything compelled me to. If I remained with him, I could pursue a high standard—the law of love.
"The thing that hurt me the most was the pain of the broken trust of a Christian marriage. It led me to become insecure, defensive, and suspicious.
"But God gently and persistently dealt with me. Exposing my own faults and shortcomings, He kept me humble and dependent on Him. Although I felt utterly crushed and broken, He promised that if I would humble myself under His mighty hand, in time He would lift me up.
"The Lord also began to build in me an identity rooted in my relationship with Him, not in any human relationship. That security gave me the strength and patience to wait on God to work in Don's life. Although Don had previously put success and recognition before our marriage and children, when the Lord changed his heart I discovered a vibrant love in him that was beyond price."
When someone hurts you, remember to put mercy before judgment and be kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving.
Used by permission of Health Ministries, North American Division of Seventh-day Adventists.
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